Controlling Personality

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Daily writing prompt
What personality trait in people raises a red flag with you?
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A controlling personality raises a red flag with me. It may be difficult to recognize a person with a controlling personality at first, because this person will not begin a friendship or a relationship by telling you what you should do or can do all the time. But gradually, by making you doubt your decisions, your friends and your abilities, the controlling person will encourage you to do certain things, and you will be met with their displeasure if you don’t comply.

In order to keep you from going out with your friends, he may tell you he is so lonely when you’re gone that it hurts him, and do you want to hurt him? He may tell you not to wear certain articles of clothing because you “look too sexy” and he only wants you to look sexy for him. He can slowly take away your rights because you give them away in order to please him.

This person may present as someone very insecure, and seem harmless. Or this person may be bold and aggressive, loving to be the leader and center of attention. The controlling person may want to have their way in very small, insignificant things. They may not take responsibility for what they do, choosing instead to deflect the blame to you or others. And they may lie to you, even if the truth wouldn’t matter.

It can be very, very difficult to get away from a controlling personality, because in no time at all you have lost your self-confidence, believe that things are your fault that aren’t, and can have trouble making decisions because you wait to be told what to do in order not to get in trouble.

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Published by lisaapaul

I’m a paralegal, a widow, mother and grandmother.

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13 thoughts on “Controlling Personality”

  1. Lisa, you are so right! We had a friend like that all charm and fun and jokes. He was like family, joining us for holidays, get-togethers and even vacations. It took us a long time to realize what a manipulating user he really was. I was stunned and shocked when I learned the truth but we’re well rid of him. Excellent write.

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