This painting always makes me cry. It reminds me of the love I had with Billy. Our lives weren’t easy, our feet weren’t planted on solid ground. One of my mantras was, “be ready for anything”. To stay upright we had to fight against sickness, hospitalizations, cancer, wounds and bleeding, exhaustion and hopelessness. But we held onto each other and held each other up. Despite his weakness at times, he was my rock and my protector. He kept the hot sun and the cold rain off my face. We balanced each other. For 40 years, we clung to each other and the love we shared.

Tonight I just want to acknowledge that love and say how strong and rare it was. Life is a circus, I suppose, and we had a very long, very sweet romance in the midst of chaos and uncertainty.

I miss your arms around me tonight, Billy. I’m afraid. Without you I don’t know how long I can keep from falling.