My head was always in a book, my mind lost in the world on those pages. I was young, and full of wishful thinking. I was going to fall in love and live happily forever. I was going to be rich and live in a beautiful house. I was going to own horses, and ride one every day. My husband would be handsome and he would adore me. Everything good my heart desired would be fulfilled. All these things I truly believed, and more. My mind floated in a dreamlike state, never seeing life for what it really was.
I was not princess material, wasn’t beautiful or talented. My grades were good, but I had to work incredibly hard to get them, sometimes writing out by hand everything the teacher said in order to burn the learning into my brain. My family wasn’t rich or powerful. We didn’t rub elbows with important people. Sadly, I was never going to own even one horse, as they were too expensive to care for and required more land and room in the barn than we had. All my wishes were dying and drying out like flowers that had once bloomed with such beauty and promise, and then withered and died.
I didn’t know what I “wanted to be”. So when I graduated high school, I refused to enroll in college, even though I had been accepted by more than one institution and my father told me he would pay for everything. I told my father it would be a waste of money. I had endured twelve long years of school, I was ready for a break. My parents were hopeful I would change my mind, but I didn’t and I instead found a man with a decent income to marry, to “save me”, and left home.
Oh, I wish I could sit down and talk with that foolish girl. I would tell her so many truths, and I could make her see her mistakes and her situation. She needed a career, goals in life, she needed to stop being so lazy, she needed to stop living in some alternate reality.
But, I never could do that and, even if I could, I don’t know that I would. My life turned out really well, and if I had changed one thing then I may not be where I am today. I am not rich, but I have had a happy life. I have had a job that I love, and in that way I have been successful. I eventually found my prince, a handsome husband who adored me. I have children and grandchildren that I love and admire, a comfortable home that fills up with noise and joy when they come to visit. I believe everything good my heart desired did come to be after all. Except for the horses, and I can live with that.
The three words for today were: hopeful, wishful, dreamlike
#TTC
A Little Bit of Everything, With Love 