The alarm went off and Sharon reluctantly got out of bed. She looked over at her husband, Arthur, still asleep and snoring. With a sigh, she went to the kitchen and started brewing coffee. She started the eggs. Arthur came in, poured himself a cup of coffee and sat at the breakfast bar. Sharon put a plate of eggs and toast in front of him, wincing as he slurped his hot coffee. Sitting beside him, she drank coffee and tried to ignore Arthur’s loud chewing sounds.
Lately, everything about Arthur was getting on her nerves. There was no logical explanation for this, nothing had changed, but it was as though a switch had been flipped and now she could hear every chomp, swallow, slurp and burp that Arthur produced. She heard every groan, sigh, joint pop and fart. It was like fingernails on a chalkboard inside her head, over and over, until she thought she’d go mad. The sounds filled her with either fury or a sick anxiousness. Sharon looked all this up online and found the name for her condition, misophonia.
Sharon sometimes daydreamed about bringing a ceramic cereal bowl down over Arthur’s head, or quieting him with a pillow pressed over his face. She was horrified at herself and not a little afraid she might do something to Arthur. And she still loved Arthur. She did not want to hurt him. Her heart longed for the days before this terrible malady had come upon her. She wished that she could return to her happy marriage, and just enjoy spending time with her husband again.
Sharon reluctantly realized that the only way to salvage her relationship with Arthur was to buy a gun. She did a little research and decided on a 9 mm Glock. It was difficult for her to rack the pistol at first, but she grew accustomed to it. She also bought 3 magazines and a few boxes of ammunition. Without Arthur’s knowledge, she went to the firing range 3 times a week.
As well as purchasing the gun, Sharon got a good set of earbuds and learned how to listen to music on her phone. She would play old classic rock tunes turned way up high while she cleaned house and cooked.
After a couple of weeks of the firing range and rock music, Sharon noticed a ringing in her ears. It was annoying, but she thought she could live with it. Firing her pistol without ear protection and listening to loud music had caused her to develop some hearing damage along with the tinnitus. Now, all that was left was to see if her plan worked.
Sitting close to Arthur as he enjoyed his breakfast, Sharon noticed the sounds that she abhorred, but they were muted by her hearing loss. She and Arthur talked, and she had to ask him to repeat himself a couple of times, but for the most part she could hear and understand him just fine. They had a lovely morning, and they went to the flea market that afternoon, and she found herself laughing with Arthur, and enjoying his witty remarks. They had a delightful day together.
Sharon thought that she and Arthur might have a shot at making their marriage last the rest of their lives. That was the plan, anyway. Oh, the things we do for love.
A Little Bit of Everything, With Love 