The 300 lb. Monster

I honestly don’t know how I ever managed when my kids were little. There was no balance. The work/life teeter totter looked like work weighed 300 pounds and home weighed nothing. I worked from 9-5 a half hour away, so my typical work day was to wake up, feed everyone, dress everyone who couldn’t dress themselves, drive the older kids to school, drive the youngest kid to daycare, and rush into work at about 3 minutes past 9. When I got done working, I had to rush to the daycare to get there before they closed, rush home, cook dinner, do laundry, clean the kitchen, give kids their bath, and put kids to bed. I was at work from 9:00 to 5:00 every weekday. I got to spend time with my family from 5:30 until 8:30 when I put the kids to bed. My husband and I might have enough energy left to get a little frisky in the evenings, but oftentimes not. This is a completely true picture of our life for so so many years.

Unless one of the married partners is a high earner, if you have children, both parents must work in today’s economy. That means that you spend very little time together as a family in the evenings. You will also have all kinds of activities, sports, lessons, school events, etc. until your evenings are also eaten up, and you didn’t get to do any of your chores that are still waiting for you when you get home.

I still work full-time, and one of the women I work with has a son that is in daycare. She earns barely enough to cover the cost of his daycare. However, she has continued to stick with her job because next year her son will start kindergarten and she will no longer pay for daycare and she and her husband will be in the black. These are the kinds of sacrifices that are made everyday in America. I don’t see any end to it.

Now that I am older and my husband has passed away, and my children have all moved away, I have my evenings completely to myself. I also have very few chores. I feel like my life is more balanced than ever before, even though I still spend more time at work than I do at home. I guess that is what everyone is working toward, the days when you get old, when maybe you can finally balance work and life if you are lucky.