A Real Man

I’ve been thinking a lot the last couple of days about men. Specifically, what I think of when I think of “a real man.” My youngest son, Joe, is now 29; my oldest, Jason, is 35; and Joe’s Birthday seemed to trigger these thoughts.

My husband, Billy, is a real man. My sons are real men. My son-in-law is a real man. I’m proud of who they are. Astonished, really, that they are so amazing. My dad was a real man. Maybe that’s where I should start.

My dad taught physics at I.S.U., a local university. He got up early every day to work around our property, 5 acres of treed lawn and 186 acres of farmland he shared with my grandpa and my uncle, dad’s brother, Ed. Dad was very strong. He didn’t work out, he just worked, and he had big arms and strong muscles from building things, fixing things, moving things. A real man is strong and he’s not afraid of hard work or getting his hands dirty. He’s not squeamish. A cut doesn’t rate a notice or a remark. He’s hardy, doesn’t complain about the heat or cold, except in passing. My dad loved temperatures in the 50’s. He called it “working weather.” My mom was delicate, small, sensitive; my dad was her opposite. Unfortunately, dad was gone a lot. He had a hard time being around 4 daughters and a wife all the time, all the hormones, loudness, fighting, laughing and drama. His absence created in me a facination with men, a feeling that they were different, better, deeply mysterious.

My husband, Billy, laid floor coverings for 40 years until his cancer ended his career. He was strong, he was hardy, he didn’t complain. He did what needed to be done, like fixing cars after a back breaking day at work. He played with the kids and they loved him. He was the daredevil, the one who rode motorcycles and dirt bikes, who water skied and showed the kids how to do all those things. Billy was the one who had to stay steady when my hormones turned me into an angry or weeping mess.

So, my men are strong, hardy, tough, steady and understanding. They are Real Men and I’m so proud of them all!